You know that feeling when your heart starts racing at the mere mention of boarding a plane? When even the sight of an aircraft crossing the sky makes your chest tighten and your palms sweat? If you’re nodding along right now, I want you to know something important: you’re not alone, and more significantly—this fear doesn’t have to define your life.

I’m sharing this deeply personal story today because I know what it’s like to be held hostage by fear. And I also know what it’s like to break free.

When the Unthinkable Becomes Personal

When my father earned his private pilot license when I was in my late teens, I was excited for him. I flew with him a few times in small aircraft, watching my father navigate the skies with quiet confidence. Flying felt like an adventure, not a threat. Fear? It never even crossed my mind.

Then life showed me, in the most devastating way possible, just how quickly everything can change.

I was in my early twenties when I found myself a mile away from the Air Florida Flight 90 crash in Washington, D.C.—that horrific January day in 1982 when a plane struck the 14th Street Bridge during a snowstorm, plunging into the frozen Potomac River. The sound, the chaos, the collective trauma of that moment—it planted seeds of fear I didn’t yet recognize.

Years later, those seeds found fertile ground when I was within five miles of the Delta Flight 191 crash in Dallas, Texas in 1985. Another catastrophic accident. Another day that forever changed how I viewed the sky.

Something fundamental shifted inside me after these experiences. The brain, in its protective wisdom, was trying to keep me safe by creating a powerful association: planes equal danger. What started as reasonable caution after witnessing tragedy spiraled into something I couldn’t control.

When Fear Takes Over Your Life

The fear didn’t stay contained to airports and airplanes. It grew, like ivy creeping across a wall, until it covered everything. Eventually, I couldn’t even look up at the sky without my heart racing. A plane passing overhead—something that happens dozens of times a day—would trigger a full-blown panic response.

My body would flood with adrenaline. My chest would tighten. My mind would race through catastrophic scenarios. I felt trapped in my own nervous system, held captive by a fear I intellectually knew was irrational but emotionally couldn’t escape.

Here’s what I’ve learned as a psychiatric nurse practitioner who has also lived through this: your fear isn’t irrational at all. It’s your brain doing exactly what it’s designed to do after trauma—protect you from perceived threats. The amygdala, that almond-shaped structure deep in your brain, doesn’t distinguish between actual danger and remembered danger. It just responds.

And that response? It happens before you even have time to think. This is why you can know flying is safe while simultaneously feeling terrified. You’re not being illogical. You’re being human.

The Path Through (Not Around) the Fear

My healing journey began when I finally understood what was happening in my brain and body. Knowledge became my first foothold out of the panic. I learned about panic disorder—how it works, why it happens, and most importantly, that it could be overcome.

Understanding the physiology of fear transformed everything. When I could recognize that racing heart and those sweaty palms as my amygdala’s false alarm rather than a genuine threat, I gained a split second of space between trigger and response. And in that space, I found my power.

I worked with cognitive behavioral techniques. I practiced grounding exercises. I gradually exposed myself to the things that scared me, starting small—looking at pictures of planes, then watching planes from a distance, eventually standing near an airport.

It wasn’t quick, and it wasn’t always easy. But slowly, steadily, I reclaimed my relationship with the sky. Today, I fly comfortably, even peacefully. The fear that once controlled my life is now just a memory—proof that transformation is possible.

A Resource That Changes Lives

While I was finding my way through this journey, I learned about Captain Tom Bunn and his pioneering work with fear of flying. Captain Bunn, a former Air Force and commercial airline pilot as well as a licensed therapist, has spent decades helping people overcome this exact fear that once held me captive.

His approach combines his deep understanding of aviation with clinical expertise in anxiety treatment. He doesn’t just tell you flying is safe (though it absolutely is—and his article “How Safe Is It?” provides compelling evidence). He helps you feel safe by addressing what’s actually happening in your nervous system during fear.

What makes Captain Bunn’s Fear of Flying program so effective is that it acknowledges both the rational and emotional aspects of this fear. He understands that statistics about safety don’t calm an activated amygdala. You need tools that work with your nervous system, not against it.

Practical Support for Your Journey

Captain Bunn offers several resources that I recommend to anyone struggling with flight anxiety:

His Books: Available on Amazon, his books provide comprehensive guidance for understanding and overcoming fear of flying. They’re written with both clinical precision and deep compassion for what you’re experiencing.

Weekly Group Counseling Sessions: Sometimes the most powerful healing happens in community. Captain Bunn’s group counseling sessions provide a supportive environment where you can work through your fear alongside others who truly understand. There’s profound comfort in knowing you’re not alone, and these sessions offer both practical tools and emotional support.

Comprehensive Program: His complete program addresses every aspect of flight fear, from the anticipatory anxiety that begins weeks before a trip to the moment of takeoff and everything in between.

Your Fear Has a Story—And So Does Your Healing

If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself in my story, I want you to know something: this fear may feel permanent right now, but it isn’t. Your nervous system learned this response, and it can learn a different one.

The fear of flying often isn’t really about the airplane at all. It’s about control, about vulnerability, about trusting something (or someone) else with your safety. For me, it was about processing trauma that my twenty-something self didn’t have the tools to handle. Your fear has its own story, its own roots, its own logic.

And here’s what I know after 15+ years of working with people through their deepest anxieties: understanding your fear is the first step toward transformation. The next step is taking gentle, supported action toward the life you want—the life where a vacation across the country or a visit to loved ones far away isn’t ruled out before you even consider it.

The View From Here

These days, when I board a plane, I sometimes think about that younger version of myself who couldn’t even look at the sky. I feel compassion for her fear, respect for her pain, and gratitude for her courage in choosing to heal.

Flying isn’t just about getting from one place to another. It’s about freedom. It’s about not letting fear make your world smaller. It’s about the breathtaking moment when you rise above the clouds and remember just how vast and beautiful this world really is.

You deserve that freedom too.

If fear of flying has been holding you back, I encourage you to explore Captain Bunn’s resources. Combine that with support from a mental health professional who understands anxiety disorders, and you have a powerful foundation for change.

Your fear is real. Your past experiences are valid. And your healing is possible.

The sky is waiting.

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Remember: Overcoming fear doesn’t mean never feeling afraid. It means feeling the fear and flying anyway—with the right tools, support, and understanding of what’s happening in your remarkable, protective, powerful brain.

Sweet dreams (even at 30,000 feet)! ✨

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Resources Mentioned:

• Captain Tom Bunn’s “How Safe Is It?” Article
• About Captain Tom Bunn & Fear of Flying Program
• Weekly Group Counseling Sessions
• Captain Tom Bunn’s Book (Available on Amazon)

Disclaimer: If you’re experiencing severe anxiety or panic disorder, please consult with a licensed mental health professional. While fear of flying programs are highly effective, they work best as part of a comprehensive approach to anxiety management.