You look really tired today. What’s going on? It looks like you didn’t sleep well.

If these words sound familiar—whether you’ve heard them from a friend or whispered them to yourself in the mirror—you’re not alone. Do you know how common sleep struggles are in today’s world, especially for women over 60? (https://www.sleepfoundation.org/aging-and-sleep)

As a psychiatric nurse practitioner who has spent over 15 years working specifically with women navigating their 60s and beyond, I see this exhaustion and frustration almost daily. The inability to fall asleep, waking up at 3 AM with your mind racing, or startling awake with your heart pounding—these experiences are far more common than you might think.

Let me tell you something important: this is very treatable with changes you can make yourself. You are not doomed to a life of sleepless nights for the rest of your years.

The Storm Clouds That Build Throughout Your Day

Here’s what I’ve learned in my practice: sleep problems after 60 are most often caused by untreated anxiety. But this isn’t just any anxiety—it’s the deep, often unspoken fears that come with this stage of life. The fear of getting old and dying. The worry about loved ones’ health. The loss of identity that can follow retirement or major life changes.

Think of anxiety like storm clouds developing throughout your day. If nothing is done to address the mounting pressure, by evening those clouds have gathered into an intense thunderstorm instead of the gentle rain your nervous system actually needs.

What happens beneath the surface is this: your nervous system stays on alert, and this alertness increases as the day goes on if nothing is done to lower your anxiety level. When you finally lay your head on that pillow—that delicious moment when your body should whisper “Finally”—instead your brain sends a false alarm to your adrenal glands, which release adrenaline.

Suddenly you’re experiencing a racing heart, feeling like you can’t breathe, or waking up with a startle. Here’s the thing: your body is actually working perfectly. These are just false alarms from a brain that’s trying to protect you from dangers that aren’t really there.

The Worry Loop That Keeps You Awake

You know that feeling—like you need to escape but you’re trapped in your own thoughts, unable to turn off the endless stream of worries. And then you start worrying about not being able to sleep, which makes everything worse. It’s like being caught in waves of concern that crash over you just when you need peace most.

But here’s what I want you to know: 99% of our thoughts are just repetitive worries that never happen. Learning to ride these waves instead of latching tightly onto every worrisome thought—this is where your power lies.

What’s Actually Normal After 60

Let’s talk about something important that often gets overlooked: there is some natural variation in what’s normal for sleep after 60. Not everyone sleeps for 8 hours straight, and that’s okay. Some awakening at night can be a completely normal variant, especially as we age (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5841578/).

The key is learning to accept worrisome thoughts that happen during these awake moments as normal and letting them come and go like clouds passing across the sky. When you wake at 3 AM, you can ask yourself: “Is there something specific I’m worrying about?” If so, write it down to get it out of your head. This simple act often allows your mind to finally rest.

Your Daily Prevention Plan

The most powerful tool you have is prevention—keeping those storm clouds from building throughout the day. Here’s how:

Pay attention to even a slight increase in anxiety during the day and take a break to breathe and reset. Just a minute or two of slow, deep belly breathing can reset your nervous system before the storm intensifies.

Limit your exposure to distressing news and information. You have earned the wisdom and resilience of your years—you don’t need to carry the weight of every tragedy or crisis that crosses your screen.

Create boundaries around your worry time. More time for self-care and reflection can be harnessed toward positive changes rather than allowing more time to worry about worst-case scenarios.

Your Evening Ritual for Better Sleep

When bedtime approaches, try these gentle approaches:

• Avoid caffeine after 2:00 PM to allow your natural rhythms to guide you toward rest
• Dim the lights in your home in the evening to allow for normal melatonin production
• Sip herbal tea such as chamomile as a soothing transition ritual
• Stay away from screens that can stimulate your already alert nervous system
• Try a short yoga nidra practice if you find yourself struggling to fall asleep—this gentle guided meditation can ease both mind and body (https://www.sleepfoundation.org/meditation-for-sleep/yoga-nidra)

If you wake during the night, remember: you have options. Listen to soothing music, do a brief guided meditation, practice those slow deep belly breaths, visualize a peaceful beloved place, or snuggle with a soothing pet. Some may find comfort in one approach, others in another—honor what feels right for your body and soul.

Reclaiming Your Power

Everyone experiences worry and anxiety—it’s part of being human. What you’re experiencing isn’t a sign of weakness or inevitable decline. It’s simply something you haven’t yet learned to manage, and the beautiful truth is: it’s completely learnable.

This is just another challenge that can be overcome, like so many others you’ve faced in your years of living. You have more power than you realize in how you respond to those 3 AM worry sessions, in how you structure your days to prevent anxiety from building, and in how you choose to care for your nervous system.

Avoid catastrophic thinking. Remember that the vast majority of your worries will never come to pass. Learn to ride the waves of thoughts and emotions instead of gripping tightly to each one as if it holds ultimate truth.

Your Invitation to Sweet Dreams

You have the power to ride the waves of variations in sleep and to take control of your anxiety and prevent its escalation. This isn’t about perfection or going back to sleeping like you did at 30. This is about finding peace with the rhythm that works for your life now, while giving yourself the tools to rest deeply when your body needs it most.

Remember: you are not doomed to a lifetime of sleepless nights. Your years of wisdom and experience are not working against you—they’re working for you. You have the time, the insight, and now the tools to create the restful sleep your body and mind deserve.

Here’s to gentle nights and sweet dreams. ✨

Sweet dreams! 🌸

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I’m Inge, a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner passionate about helping women over 60 feel grounded, resilient, and well. If sleep continues to be a struggle despite trying these approaches, it’s always wise to consult with your healthcare provider to rule out other causes and explore additional support options.

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